Waddup there, This email is a teensy bit longer than normal - so listen to it here in my lovely voice if you wanna reduce your screen time. There's couple of things that I'm guilty for–cheating in Monopoly, bribing type A classmates for notes with food, and crying to a complete stranger. Seven years ago I bought and sold a little, antique, Samurai (the vehicle lol) within the span of 6 months because I realized it's not exactly a suitable daily driver when you have to say a prayer every time you get on the highway. I met up with a really interested buyer where him and the car seemed to be a match made in automotive heaven. He was super chill and I knew I had the sale in the bag until he asked, "when's the last time you changed the oil?" as his adolescent son was sitting in the driver's seat pretending to be off-roading. Me: "I took it in a few months ago and got it changed." Then the most awkward pause in the history of conversations happened.
His eyes went wide...
he crossed his arms...
and said in the most aggressive tone, "I don't believe you."
Me happily sitting in my 1988 Suzuki Samurai before I learned a thicc life lesson.
I thought he was joking.
But his face told me he was both pissed and more serious than Simon Cowell during a terrible audition. He said something was "off" and looked at the car like it was a rickety booby trap.
He muttered a bunch of random stuff and asked rhetorical questions that made me realize–He didn't want to buy my cute ass car because he thought I was a liar. This wasn't some underground buying tactic or some unaired episode of Punked.
He just couldn't believe that I gutted the interior and repaired a bunch of rust holes, but I didn't change the oil myself because "I didn't know how" - to which he put in his own air quotes. This dude–who I've spent literally 30 minutes of my life with–legitimately thought I was trying to scam him and his probably 6 year old son with a green lemon. I started panicking and repeatedly stated that I wasn't lying–which isn't actually a great tactic for getting strangers to believe you.
He basically darted off and I left the lot feeling like I was the one was got completely bamboozled... but later that night he texted me asking if we could discuss the sale again. I was relieved.... but 5 minutes into the conversation I was literally crying on the phone with a stranger, begging him to not think I was a bad person, or that I'm a liar, a scammer, and that I really don't know how to change the oil on a car no matter how easy it actually is (and still don't lol). And no. He didn't buy the car.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
I've never shared this story with anyone but my wife, Abbey, because the next day I woke up the next with an indefinite embarrassment hangover. I was so embarrassed for caring that much about what this stranger thought that I added it to the "promptly forget this happened" files. Welp. It turns out that forgetting about things that trigger you this deeply isn't good practice for overcoming the limits they put on you.
For instance, something that I used to take pride in is my comment section on YouTube. It's pretty squeaky clean, minimal to no trolls, and mostly filled with clurb members like you who just have nice things to say.
However, this isn't by accident. I've been curating my content to try to please the masses out of fear of being embarrassed about having a "stupid" opinion and having my raw ideas and beliefs being rejected.
So I play it safe when I write my scripts, and deliver my content in a methodical way that it's virtually so hater proof that saying anything negative about it will either make you look like Hitler or a complete dumbass. But the trade off is tragic. This means that I've been subconsciously censoring the fuck outta myself so that I can be palatable to, lets be honest... STRANGERS. Over the last 90 days I went on an unplanned journey that involved a lot of inner work, healing, unpacking, crying, raging, growing, shadow shitting–whatever you wanna call facing your demons–which felt like I was bunked up with them in boot camp for the first time in my life.
But the one thing that's really stuck with me during that time is how important it is to acknowledge the parts of you that suck, so that they don't hijack your brain into automatically doing things that invite shitty experiences into your life. If you're willing to get to the bottom of why your brain is programmed to send you into self-destruct mode or even sift through the aftermath of your not-so-cute moments like I did with this story, you'll save more time and energy than habit stacking every productivity tool ever invented.
So let's start with acknowledgement–What's a people pleasing tendency you have? Reply to this email and feel free to share with me. Mine is over explaining and over justifying anything that someone may not agree with. Excited to hear from you, ✌🏾Simie✌🏾 P.S. If you relate to this email and know someone that does too, forward it to them cuz it's about to 🔥 turn up in this clurb 🔥 as a enter a new season of creation. P.P.S. So it turns out the guy who thought I was a scammer was actually a car sales man. He ultimately didn't wanna buy the car because it was out of his budget, but he felt so bad about me crying that he gave me tips on how to sell a car. I've since sold 3 vehicles on Facebook marketplace lol.
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